Hi Guys, so I put together this post because quite a few people have asked me what I would do differently in my relationship. And honestly the first thing that naturally comes out of my mouth is ‘My relationship would be more private’

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not wrong to put your relationship on social media. But my previous relationship was once so ‘out there’ that if I didn’t post a picture of my ex for 2 weeks, people would automatically assume that something must be wrong. After a very public relationship leading to a very public breakup, I have decided that broadcasting my relationship on social media is just not for me and here is why:

1. Too much pressure

Let us be honest, no relationship is without its rough days. But due to the culture of social media, everyone is so fixated on showcasing their best moments. Not only does this place pressure on you to live up to the social media standard, it can also cause you to be more focused on other people’s opinions of your relationship when really you should be focused on what you, your partner and God think about your relationship. Looking back at it now, it really was not worth the likes, comments and hashtags.

2.  Questions: Too many stakeholders with no stake

I found that so many people expected answers from me when things in my relationship took a nose dive. I still don’t understand how someone who did not invest in my relationship wanted the benefits of a stakeholder! I mean I owe you no explanation. Having said that, when I put my relationship out there, I was told that it was an open invitation for people to be ‘involved’ and expect to be updated every step of the way. Since I will never understand this, I have decided to not give anyone the inch that will lead them to take the mile.

3. Too many haters

Ok, this one is controversial. Some will read this and think..’who does this girl think she is’ I don’t blame you for thinking that because I for one couldn’t understand why anyone would be hating on my relationship. When you give people a snapshot of your life and it looks good, jealousy can creep in and unfortunately some people are bitter and will do anything to drag your relationship down to make themselves feel better. I don’t like the word hater but when you experience a horrible ordeal and people are happy, you realise that haters, bad bele people and fake allies do exist!

4.  Everybody on Social media is a detective… Including me

I am that friend that will help you scope out a persons entire background based on their social media. Personally, I am a very open person.. a bit too open! So it is not hard for people to draw a report of me based on my social outputs. The depth of the report would of course be very surfaced level in some respects but none the less it is possible. I do not want any inspector Morse’s in my relationship thank you! Neither do I want to worry about what people would think if my man hasn’t posted a picture of me. In the past this bothered me and I felt obliged to maintain my relationships social media image.  At this stage in my life, I would rather focus my energy elsewhere.

5. Because I want to 🙂

Basically… this is just my preference. Not just because of what I went through, but because it is what I want to do. My partner will not be a big secret.. far from. If anything he will be worth showing to the world! And maybe my views may change. But for now, I maintain the fact that relationships are designed for you, your partner and God. Posting the odd picture here and there is not a problem, giving marital advice or top wedding planning tips is also not an issue! Heck I think the tales of a bride to be (my old youtube chanel) was pretty dope and I do not for one second regret doing it. But that season for me has now passed.

So I hope that answered your questions. This was one of many things I would change and I would love to hear your thoughts on it so please make sure you comment below xx

p.s.

If you follow me on social media, you’ll know I’ll be co- hosting the big debate on the 29th September! We’ll be discussing everything from relationships to finance, getting on the property ladder, careers and so much more! Check out the flyer below for more info

There are currently early bird tickets for only £16.00 until the 5th August so get yours now at Bigdebate17.eventbrite.co.uk

See you there xoxo