Wow she has put on weight!
That boy is skinny!
Nah I thought my bum was flat but her bum is missing mate!!
Any of the above sound familiar? If the answer is yes it’s probably because you’ve been guilty of saying this yourself.
Often times I get upset when I walk into a family function and the first thing an Aunty says is ‘Sarah I hope you’re watching this weight’… or worse when they pull me to the corner and say ‘Sarah you have to come down’ meanwhile in all my years on this earth I’ve only ever minded my business and seen this very same Aunty ‘coming up’
Let’s be honest, it hurts. You try to act like you don’t care but all of a sudden you begin to focus on the slow progress of your gym work outs and the weight you desire to be. We know this feeling, want to stop this feeling but yet we perpetuate this same feeling onto others. The sad reality is
Many people are as much a victim of body shaming as they are a perpetrator.
Why is it that a group of girls can sit in a group pull out their phones and begin to shame another female for a recent weight change? Why a man can be in a room watch a girl walk by, roll his eyes down in line with her lower body and shout out ‘them pancakes there’ making reference to her bum to his boys (true story). Meanwhile some of the girls in the group and the guys are unhappy with their own body.
Many people today are unaware of the impact body shaming has on both males and females in our society. With ill mental health on the rise and with more and more people feeling the pressure of going under the knife as a direct result of body shaming, when will this stop?
If we are told that we are the direct contributors of another persons depression or anxiety or worse, suicide would it stop then? Because this is what body shaming often leads to.
In the words of my old neighbour Aunty Victoria ‘everybody should face their front’ it’s not everything you see that you must say. Yes she may have put on weight and yes he may still not have any facial hair but guess what, chances are they are fully aware of this.
Now don’t get me wrong, if your FRIEND or LOVED one has all of a sudden lost weight or put on a lot of pounds and you are concerned, it’s ok to check on their wellbeing. A simple ‘how is life’ will suffice and if they ask you, it’s ok to tactfully tell the truth. Personally I would ask God for wisdom on how to approach the situation first and if that wisdom doesn’t come then maybe it’s not my place to bear such information and my ‘concern’ is like unwarranted.
What it’s not ok to do is to make anyone feel bad about how they look.
This post is as much for my readers as myself. I have made reference to another women’s body as if it were a norm e.g. ‘her breast are too big’ …
*inserts confused face* why confused face you may ask… because I’m commenting on the size of another woman’s breast knowing fully well that my chest has been an area of dissatisfaction for me.
Often we do this because we deflect attention from our own insecurities and impose them on to others. It’s a mechanism to make us feel better. One that only momentarily works.
So what’s the moral of this post? Talking about another persons body should not be a pass time. Aunty’s we are not ‘too sensitive’ Screaming out ‘you are too fat’ at a party or ‘you need to eat you’re too skinny’ has never and will never be received with love. Let’s put an end to body shaming! Instead appreciate your body and everyone else’s. Our bodies carry the beautiful spirit that God gave to us, our unique minds and the very breath in our lungs! For that reason,
Our body deserves some accolades
Until next time