So as you may know, I spent almost half of my relationship living in a separate country from my ex. Although the relationship did not work out, contrary to popular belief, the distance was not the ultimate factor.
I put up a poll on my instagram. The question is ‘can long distance relationships work?’ And so far the poll indicates that 59% think yes and 41% think no. (If you read this before 3pm on 23/05, please head over to @sarahalonge_ and vote before it closes)
I have to say, I am with the 59% but only when certain measures have been put in place.
Below I have 7 top tips to maintain a healthy long distance relationship. Hope it helps x
This is a given whether you live in the same country or not! But lack of it is always amplified when you’re apart. I always say if your partner wants to be unfaithful, he or she does not need to be in another county. So before you embark on this journey, ask yourself can you trust that your partner respects you enough to remain faithful and can you trust yourself to fill the gaps of companionship with something that will not jeopardise your relationship?
This is a two way street. Find a way that you can both communicate with one another that works. If you have different time zones this can be tricky! But then babes learn to set an alarm. It’s a sacrifice you have got to be willing to make. Be committed to never leaving one another out of the loop. You are already missing their physical presence and there is nothing worse than feeling the distance in knowledge also.
You can’t fully commit to such a huge task if there is no love involved. If months pass by and you’re questioning if you love your partner then maybe you should consider having an honest conversation about your future with each other.
You need to be dedicated to one another through thick and thin. Your dedication to each other is a direct correlation to your dedication to making your relationship a working and healthy one.
Before you embark on this journey, are you willing to make certain compromises? It shouldn’t only be one person willing to relocate or one person having to sleep late to suit another’s schedule. It’s a two way street. If both parties are willing to compromise, the less burdensome compromising becomes.
There is a different type of grace that comes with being in a long distance relationship. A grace that only God can give. You need to be committed to pray separately and together over your relationship. When there is no prayer, there is plenty of gaps and room for your adversary to slide right on in! Stay guarded.
Is this sustainable? What is the end goal? Are you separate for a season or do you intend to continue your relationship in two separate places? If the answer is yes to the latter, what is your plan? How frequently can you both commit to seeing each other? This commitment must be something fully thought though: Work schedules, finances, marriage, potential children. Nothing can be left without thought.
In conclusion long distance relationships are work! Personally, I know that it was a battle on almost every front and in more ways than none, I was not fully prepared. If you are in a long distance relationship or you or your partner are about to move away, make sure you consider all aspects and prepare mentally, spiritually and emotionally for what’s to come. I believe a long distance couple can build a strong relationship! But my personal view is that if it is long term leading into marriage, at one point, one person will need to make that move. If such a goal is put in place, you have something to work towards. And that is vital.
If your relationship can thrive through distance, I honestly believe your relationship has the power to survive almost anything.
Until next time xoxo