From body image to career goals and from relationship status to property ladders, time after time we find ourselves comparing our lives with someone else.
You may have read a post I wrote sometime last year. It was an extremely candid account of how I felt about ‘being left behind’. This was honestly the question that a very small and irritating voice was asking me. It was roughly 18 months on and all of the people I shared wedding planning advise with were either expecting their beautiful babies or in Nigerian terminology had already ‘put to bed’ (LOL)
In the space of a few minutes I went from being extremely over joyed for them to the deep sadness of ‘that could’ have been me.
I beat myself up for it, I felt like such a bad person! Of course I was happy for them but I was just so consumed with the thought that I could also be planning to welcome my baby. This consumed state of mind was so dangerous that I forgot what it would have involved if it was actually my story. – An extremely unhappy relationship that would have turned two good people into monsters. Those monsters would have then welcomed an extremely loved baby into a hostile environment that would potentially shape the course of that innocent child’s life. Well when you put it like that, how could I have even want that life? But yet the feeling was ever present.
How easily do we forget the reason for our own journey because we are too busy comparing our walk with someone else?
I hear so many people taking shortcuts to reach their destination and when I ask them why, 90% of the time the answer is routed in their desire to catch up with someone who they were never supposed to be racing.
Your journey is yours for a reason. Maybe it is taking you longer to get to the place you are meant to be because along the way God want’s to show you something. He wants you to see the beautiful lessons that come through patience and just how ordered your steps are when you let Him lead.
When it comes to this thing called life, it is so vital that we do not lose ourselves to comparison. The longer we try to obtain another person’s goal, the more likely we are to fail at being the best version of us
Don’t try to be better than someone else while all along,
You fail at being a great you.
I am not saying that someday’s you won’t feel disheartened. The days when you are sitting in your friends newly purchased house and you are still living with your parents. Or when you are helping your friend choose her wedding dress while you scroll through ASOS to find your ‘Catch a bae or slay trying outfit’ But when those days come, remind yourself that your process of waiting is preparing you for the arrival of something great.
Don’t put yourself in debt trying to compete. Do not live a life of misery crying over what ‘could have been’ when you know it is a blessing it never was.
When you let God lead, you are never left behind. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. So stop trying to swap your life by imitating someone else when the original you is still being moulded.
p.s. shout out to my mum and aunties who read my blog! following on from the numerous ‘what does this mean’ question, I have decided to do a slang interpretation below
Bae: used as a term of endearment towards boyfriend/ girlfriend
Slay: To be amazing and look fabulous while putting those who said otherwise to shame
BONUS for the non- Nigerians
Put to bed: a term used to describe a woman who has given birth.