Should I have put all of my eggs in one basket? Shortly after my relationship ended, I began to battle with myself on this. Maybe if I gave some of the other guys a chance then I wouldn’t be in this predicament.
Did I make the mistake at 19 of putting all of my eggs in one basket? Did I love too soon? Should I have dated other guys while me and my ex were still in the ‘seeing’ phase of our relationship? At least that way I would have had an opportunity to ‘compare the market’ sorry if it sounds brash but somehow it’s true.
I use to think about the guys who I would ignore and wonder if maybe I ignored the wrong one. These thoughts stayed with me and before I knew it I had internally made a decision that I- Sarah Alonge who for the record once hated the idea of serial dating, would become a serial dater.
I was speaking to a colleague who is all for serial dating. Of course she doesn’t call it that. She refers to it as something along the lines of ‘keeping her options open’ we had a long debate as to why she thinks it’s a good idea. Some of the key points she mentioned were:
1) you’re less likely to emotionally invest too soon
2) through dating more than one guy, you tend to have a better idea of the things you want and don’t want
3) if one guy ‘flops’, you always have guy 2 and sometimes guy 3
Personally I can’t help but think of everything that can go wrong. For starters I would like to think of my potential next partner as someone who I have made an informed decision about without comparing him to anyone else.
Its safe to say that this idea of me being a serial dater lasted as long as the thought.
I soon realised that dating multiple people at once doesn’t protect you from making the wrong decision. If anything I personally think it does the opposite. Some may disagree and that is fine. I am interested in hearing your thoughts.
Choosing the right person doesn’t come by dating multiple people. It comes from being wise.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5
And as the scripture above rightly mentions if you lack wisdom, you have a lifeline and it is to ASK GOD.
It was easy for me to think ‘what if’ when my relationship failed. But the truth is, if a relationship fails, you have to take ownership of the fact that it is because something went wrong. It isn’t because my ex didn’t have the qualities of person x or person y. The truth is if person x was the better options, I would have chosen them in the first place. I didn’t go into my relationship blind. I gave my love because I felt loved and so no matter the outcome I have no regrets.
For anyone who may wonder if they should have done something differently, dig deep. You may find that some of your decisions did were needed in order for you to be the person who you are today.
There are many things I would do differently moving forward and serial dating is not one of them. I still believe in happy endings and mine is loading.
P.S. I am interested to know your thoughts on serial dating so comment below or as always hit me up on any of my social media platforms x