Recently I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed. At first I blamed it on all of the commotion going on in my life. For starters I am trying to juggle writing, working a 9-5, overseeing my business, figuring out this dating thing and pursuing some of the dreams I let slide. As exciting as it all is, this is enough to make anyone feel overwhelmed. But I realised it was more than this. I suddenly had a moment when I felt as if life was passing me by and just like that I was ready to throw in the towel.
I have found myself subconsciously settling in situations even though I know that there is more. What I’ve realise is that sometimes God allows us to experience something better than what we are use to just so we know that there is more. He gives us a taster of what is to come. I know that these new experiences often feel so good that we do not realise that what we have taken as a landing page, is actually a starting point.
What we had in the past was so bad that our new benchmark ‘good’ feels amazing! But even with that amazing feeling, we know that there is more to that relationship, business or job. Yes it’s better than what we’re use to, but there is more. We become comfortable in an uncomfortable situation because we are afraid that if more is pursued, we may lose what we now have. We may lag behind while others move on. If we pursue more, our biological clock will keep ticking 👀…
It’s at times like this I have to remind myself that my benchmark is not defined by what I want now but what I need for eternity. And because I’m not fully aware of all of my needs, I make God the benchmark.
The beautiful thing about making God your benchmark is when you fall into His plan, the timing is always right. Trusting the process is always hard especially in a day and age where everyone’s life progressions e.g. buying a home, marriage, having a baby and more is showcased on social platforms. In the same breath of you feeling happy for them you are reminded that you haven’t got enough saved up for a deposit on a new home or even a boyfriend let alone a fiancé to plan a wedding with. And before you know it you begin to accept a relationship that isn’t good for you or land yourself a terrible mortgage deal that will never give you respectable equity on your home.
So how do you overcome the feeling of being delayed? When time keeps moving and all you seem to want appears to be far away? I would be lying if I said I knew the answer to this question but what I do know is that settling can never be compared to a life lived according to Gods plan. I often hear people so unhappy because they settled and consequently they feel stuck. They spend their days and nights praying for God to make a bad situation good. They spend their days wishing that they took that leap of faith to be patient in their singleness until Mr. or Mrs. right came. Or that they quit that dead-end job before they had a family to provide for.
When I look at my life, I am thankful that I chose not to settle. In the past 5 years, I have gained more than I have lost and seen first hand the benefits of letting go and moving on. It is not easy to do this but it is worth it.
In 2013 I quit a stable job in pursuit of more. I had nothing to fall back on when I left but I knew it was time. This then resulted in me getting a job working on the campaigns of some of the major political players in UK politics today. I was at what I thought was the top of my game. Then I was made redundant in and unemployed for 7 months! In those 7 months I was tempted to settle but I was reminded of the leap of faith that landed me my previous role. I trusted the process and now I am earning 30% more than the job that let me go. I didn’t know I could overcome that trial until it was demanded of me and I wouldn’t appreciate what I have now if I didn’t experience the process. I share this more to encourage than anything. Right now I know that I am in the process of having to let go of many comfortable things. You may be to. But the only way we will succeed is to focus on destiny over comfort. Be intentional. Be purpose focused and then settling does not become an option.