One of the biggest struggles with doing this is it opens me up to so many emotions. It also opens me up to questions, criticism and some times it just brings back the memories I wish I could forget.
So how do I tell my truth with the consideration of everyone involved? Am I doing the right thing? Will this come back to bite me in the butt?
These are the questions I ask myself every time I pick up my laptop, open up wordpress and begin to type. The questions just go on and on but eventually I run out of reasons why I shouldn’t be doing this and I also run out of the excuses I give myself to stop me from pressing the publish button.
The truth is, I am unapologetic.
Don’t get me wrong, there was a time where all I had was regret. Sometimes I think about how different my life would be if I only chose me over everyone else. If I listened to the expression in his eyes over the feelings in my heart.
If I didn’t think about how much money was spent or how much time we had invested. If I didn’t hold on to the time we had shared or more so how much love we once had.
The truth is for every decision I’ve ever made or any decision you will ever make, there is always an alternative response. There is always a choice.
And I made my choices at different stages of my life whether good or bad, those decisions made me who I am today. So the reality is, no matter how many blows I had to take, wounds I had to dress and fears I had to conquer,
I am not sorry
I am not sorry for the day I made the wrong decision or the days that I made some people uncomfortable by showing up. I am not sorry for the friendship we had and have now lost. I am not sorry for the 19 months I wore the symbol of promise that he placed on the fourth finger of my left hand. I am not sorry for falling deeply in love only to walk gracefully out of it. And I am certainly not sorry for starting this blog.
For me, this is more than an expression of the way I feel, but a chance for me to show that if you place your trust in God you always come out winning the battle. So don’t sweat about the mini defeats along the way! I am a testament to the fact that all things work together for the good of those who LOVE God. There was no good in sight earlier in the year when I thought my world was crashing down. The fact that I still stand is a story that I want to share.
I tell my story through my experiences, in my way using my words. And for that,
I am not sorry