It was the way he looked at me that made me want to let go. You see I haven’t been looked at like that in a long time. To have you stare at me so intensely. To give me that look of I want you right now. To put his face so close to mine and smell the fragrance of my skin. To hold me so close that I could feel his breath against me.
In that moment you made me feel like I was the only girl in the room. I liked that feeling. I haven’t felt that way in a long time.
Basically, I like the way this is going, and I don’t want this to stop. But what’s the point? What’s the point of putting one leg in to something when the other leg is still healing from being somewhere else?
I know that if I wanted this to happen right now I could. But what’s the use of throwing my heart towards the net only for it to bounce back to where it was left off. I mean come on Sarah this is not a game of basketball and my heart was not made for dribbling. This is my life!
You slowly start to reveal you are single and oops… there it is. They just slide through your DM’s, blast from the past return and before you know it you have gone for a ‘drink’ or a harmless meal. For me it wasn’t just that I was not fully ready, it was that I was not discerning. You see no matter how strong you are, after any breakup or ordeal, your heart is vulnerable. You can call me spiritual if you like or even a crazy bible girl but boo when you really check it so many of these new ‘potentials’ are really a distraction from the enemy to sidetrack you from the destination of healing that the lord is taking you to. The route to your breakthrough has many exits. And it’s up to you whether you keep on driving that highway with no breaks until you reach your destination, or if you exit left.
Now on many occasions in this process, I will be the first to admit that I have pulled out at the closest exit. But by the grace of God I managed to find the next slip road and get right back on track.
But you see when you involve another person prematurely, it’s different. We exit and find temporary refuge there and in doing that, we lose sight of where it is that we are going and we delay our arrival to our destination.
If you can relate to this, please understand that I’m not saying that you aren’t ready to move on in this way. Being ready is only a small part. The real question is are you discerning in your ‘readiness’? Have you prayed and tested the spirit? Have you done a heart check to identify your motives? If the answer is no, then I would say don’t fall victim to un-doing the work that God has started in your process. You can not afford to be with the wrong person multiple times. Casual dating is no longer an option because your heart is too prescious.
I’m not saying the next person you date will be your husband or wife. But I am saying that if he or she doesn’t look like they could be and your spirit does not agree, then no matter how saved they are, how fine they may be, how accomplished, intelligent or prayerful, they are a distraction.
Ladies and gents, I am just trying to keep it 100. When you put God in it, failing is never an option. God causes you to learn and to grow. All things work together for those who love God. Love him enough to trust that where he leads you is where you should go. You can’t be your own Tom Tom. You may think it’s the fastest route but you may just encounter that stand still or that ‘accident’ that God is diverting you from.
Until next time guys
Signed – Sarah x